What is it about boredom that makes it a self-perpetuating experience? I am actually rarely bored, but sometimes, boredom sets in and I’m trapped. I always have books with me, the internet is nearly always available, I've got things to think about, and things to do, but when I hit the wall of boredom, nothing seems to free me.
Sitting here these past days, I’ve begun to realize in part where my experience of boredom comes from. These past days, I’ve felt trapped—waiting, serving, tolerating, enduring. When I feel stuck, having to endure interminable interruptions, I get bored. And then I get annoyed at the boredom and annoyed at myself for not being able to escape it, and perhaps even resentful of those whom I want to hold accountable for my boredom. Ultimately, and as a good Taoist, I really do believe that no one but myself is responsible for my boredom or my release from that boredom.
And that leads me to wonder if I really am a good Taoist if, despite my awareness of my own control of the situation, I am still unable to free myself from that boredom.
What do you think?
1 year ago
1 comment:
"Nothing seems to free" you because no thing can free you. Just be free of things. You *are* responsible for your boredom only insofar as you are able to respond to your boredom. Respond by being free of boredom. You do not control the situation; give up the illusion of control. Do not fight boredom; embrace the abundance of life, the abundance of the universe which is encoded in your spirit as well as your DNA. Don't work toward freedom but accept the freedom that is all around you.
Finally, remember the last stanza of Edna St. Vincent Millay’s “Renascence”:
The world stands out on either side
No wider than the heart is wide;
Above the world is stretched the sky,—
No higher than the soul is high.
The heart can push the sea and land
Farther away on either hand;
The soul can split the sky in two,
And let the face of God shine through.
But East and West will pinch the heart
That can not keep them pushed apart;
And he whose soul is flat—the sky
Will cave in on him by and by.
Your perception of the world is mirrored by reality. Find the still, quiet space inside yourself and let it expand to fill your world.
Post a Comment